How are you?

Arah and I  spent some time discussing the phrase 

"Mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort" 

He said one thing that was such a culture shock when he came back to the US after he had been in Germany, everyone here uses the greeting how are you? No one waits around to hear the answer nor really wants to know other than "fine". In Germany this question is only asked to close friends when you are sincerely looking to help and to serve others. 

We talked about how we have set the standard for everyone just has to be fine all the time. Fine is not the default setting, nor is happy, nor is sad. We are supposed to experience every emotion. We need to be more open with our feelings and more honest about how we are. It is our responsibility to share both our joy and our turmoil. We are denying others the opportunity to serve us, if we don't let them in and allow them to serve. 

I feel like so many times I've been in situations where I've thought oh I'm so alone, woeth me, when really it's probably my own fault that someone asked me how I was doing and I gave my usual response which is "fantastic" also the other way around when I have genuinely wanted to serve and genuinely cared about how someone was and we end up hearing nothing more than a standard response. 

One of my goals is to not ask "how are you" without sincerity and to always wait around for that answer. So if I ask you I hope you know that I love you and I want to serve you. And if you ask me I'm going to be brutally honest!